Of Plotting and Chocolate
by Triola
Summary: ONESHOT When Sirius Black is plotting, nothing can distract him. Except maybe the appearance of a certain chocolate craving werewolf. SBRL SLASH


**Title:** Of Plotting and Chocolate  
**Author name:** triola  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Rating:** K+  
**Summary:** When Sirius Black is plotting, nothing can distract him. Except maybe the appearance of a certain chocolate craving werewolf.  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Author notes: **Oh dear, I've been left on my own for too long again. I've been wanting to write a Remus/Sirius story for quite a while now, and I just figured that now is as good a time as any. It is somewhat weird, but I hope you guys like it anyway.  
**Warning: **This story contains slash. That means homosexuals. Man on man love. Gay people. Got it? **_!SLASH!_**

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**Of Plotting and Chocolate**  
_dedicated to a certain Remus-loving chocoholic _

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Saturday afternoon found the Gryffindor common room oddly silent. In fact, eerily so if you compare it to the amount of noise the room usually harbour. However, the lack of commotion could be easily explained; it was a Hogsmeade weekend. Everyone from the third year and up had happily grabbed this excuse to get away, and the first and second years took the opportunity to use the library or go on secret adventures throughout school while the others were gone. That left the usually so noisy common room quite empty, with the exception of one black haired youth. 

To find Sirius Black sitting alone, was a very rare occurrence. To find Sirius Black sitting alone, chewing on his quill, completely engrossed in his writing, that was an occurrence that would make even Minerva McGonagall faint in surprise. Yet, that was exactly what you would find if you happened to walk into the Gryffindor common room this lovely autumn day. However, knowing Sirius Black, it would not be such a surprise if I told you that he was not, as one might at first be led to believe, doing his homework. No, Sirius Black was plotting. And when Sirius Black was plotting, nothing could disturb him. Not even a Hogsmeade weekend.

James and Peter had tried to drag the black haired teen outside with them, but to no avail. He just shook his head and continued writing. After a while they had given up and gone without him. They knew he was no longer sane when in this particular mood. They just hoped they'd be back to see the show, because judging from the furious scribbling, this was going to be one hell of a prank. And it was nothing the two boys loved more than to watch some unfortunate Slytherin writhe under the effect of one of Sirius' ingenious pranks.

However, the Gods were not with James and Peter on this particular day. Sirius was not, as they had both assumed, plotting a prank. No, this was a completely other matter. A delicate matter that required utter concentration and a vast amount of scheming. It was of the outmost importance that it did not fail. Because Sirius Black was plotting the seduction of one Remus John Lupin.

Said Remus John was a young boy, not much older than our black haired conspirator, but despite his young years he was still able to fully entrance most of the people he met. He was not, as one might assume, a beauty. At least not stunningly so. No, the first word that popped into most people's heads when gazing upon this boy was 'plain'. With his pale skin, small frame and light brown hair, he was nothing special. Just another boy. At least, that was what people thought until they looked into his eyes. To say that his eyes were beautiful, would be to lie. Beautiful is too weak a word. Stunning, gorgeous, magnificent, those were better descriptions, but still understatements. It would be impossible for me to describe such an otherworldly beauty in word, yet for your sake, I will try.

Have any of you ever seen a necklace where the pendant is a piece of amber? If you haven't, I will try to describe it to you. Amber is a sort of gemstone, fossilized from the resin of ancient forests. It comes in many different shades of colour, varying from bright orange to deep brown. When in the sun, it sparkles and shines with a warm glow. This is what Remus Lupin's eyes look like. They are like trapped orbs of amber, glowing in the sun and specked with gold. I have never in my life seen anything like it; it is truly a captivating sight.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, it were these eyes that might have lead to Remus' downfall. Their beauty had ensnared out little plotter, and Sirius was nothing but persistent. He was not likely to take no for an answer. However, something unexpected was soon about to happen that would throw all of Sirius' carefully devised plans out the window. And this 'something unexpected' came in the form of none other than Remus, dangerous werewolf and chocolate addict extraordinaire.

XxX

Smiling broadly, Sirius scribbled a few more words down on the piece of parchment and started humming a little song without a particular melody. It didn't really need one anyway, he just made it up as he went along. This, along with a high intake of chocolate, was the two main signs that Sirius was plotting. Behind all of his most cunning pranks, lay hours of humming and masses of sugar. Sirius himself claimed that he only ate chocolate whenever he was plotting, but very few were prone to notice, because he was _always_ plotting something. Be it a new prank, how to get out of detention or just plainly a new excuse to why he hadn't done his homework; the wheels in Sirius' head were always turning. With the exception of nighttime and Easter. Because who could be expected to plot when they were completely freaked out by the masses of sickly cute bunnies?

At any rate, this sunny autumn day Sirius was just putting the finishing touches on the first part of his plan, when an earsplitting shriek could be heard from the sixth year boy's dormitory. A normal person would probably have run up the stairs to see what was wrong, but as you might have noticed by now, Sirius was anything but normal. He just sank lower into the armchair he was sitting in and it looked suspiciously like he was trying to hide.

However, he had no such luck because the next minute a very distraught Remus came running down the stairs and started lifting up pillows and things that were lying around, obviously searching frantically for something. "Where is it? Where is it?" he mumbled, looking under the sofa.

"Where is what?" asked Sirius.

Remus looked around for a second, as if confused by who had spoken, until his eyes landed on Sirius. "Oh, hi Siri, nothing much, I've just seemed to misplaced my chocolate" he laughed nervously, fidgeting with his hands and his eyes constantly running over the room, searching. "You haven't seen it, have you?"

Sirius gulped, unconsciously licking his lips, and shook his head. "Chocolate? Nope, no chocolate. Not at all. Been _ages_ since I last saw a piece of chocolate. Yeah, _ages_. Haven't seen chocolate in ever so long. Nope, no chocolate. Not here. You're the chocolate addict, not me. No chocolate here." He choked out a laugh, but it turned in to a coughing fit.

Remus eyed him worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, never been better" Sirius said and plastered a big grin on his face.

Remus once again looked at him with concern, then he started taking in his surroundings. Empty common room, Sirius, quill, paper, and hadn't he heard humming only a few minutes ago? Narrowing his eyes he looked back at the other boy. "Sirius, you haven't by any chance been _plotting_, have you?"

Blue eyes not entirely meeting amber ones, Sirius shook his head furiously. "Plotting, me? No no no!"

Remus narrowed his eyes even more and got to his feet, crossing his arms. "You have, haven't you?" he said accusingly.

"No" squeaked the black haired boy, but it sounded untrue even to his ears.

"Sirius don't-make-me-use-your-middle-name Black, don't you lie to me!"

"Ok, ok, maybe I've been plotting! But just a little bit!"

"Did this plotting by any chance involve chocolate?" Remus said, unnervingly sweet.

"Eh… no?" Sirius' eyes darted nervously around the room, looking for an escape route.

"Sirius" it came out sounding almost as a growl and Sirius whimpered.

"Maybe just a little" he mumbled, not looking at the other boy.

"You stole my chocolate!" yelled Remus, throwing himself at the other boy and shaking him back and forth.

"I'm sorry, but I needed it! You _know_ I can't plot with out it!" cried Sirius, trying to wriggle away from underneath the smaller boy.

"But you took the last piece! The _last_ piece! I need it! I must have it! Give it to me!" by now Remus was almost in hysterics, banging Sirius head into the back of the chair over and over again.

"I'm sorry Remmie, I ate it all…"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Remus stared at the other boy as if he was from a completely different world. "You did what?" he whispered, his eyes big as saucers.

"I, eh, ate it all" repeated Sirius, smiling nervously while running a hand through his long hair.

"No, no, no," murmured Remus, rocking back while hugging himself protectively. "Gone, all gone… need it… chocolate… must have… all gone… no, no, no,"

Sirius was beginning to get seriously scared, no pun intended. He had heard of such things as drug withdrawals, but chocolate withdrawal? That was new. However, the evidence was in front of him, and it was mighty hard to ignore.

Suddenly Remus got a predatory expression on his face, and his eyes glowed in a feral light. "I need a taste of that chocolate, Sirius" he whispered, and gave him a look that sent shivers down the black haired boy's spine. 'He's going to kill me!' He thought terrified. 'He's going to rip me open, and take the chocolate back. He's going to –' But suddenly all of Sirius' coherent thoughts evaporated like water in the sun, because Remus wasn't killing him, he was kissing him. And it wasn't just a kiss; it was the best damn kiss Sirius had ever experienced. And that was saying a lot when you consider his dating history, which wasn't short.

When Remus finally pulled away, Sirius was so out of breath he could only stare at the smaller boy. He however, seemed unfazed and cuddled up against Sirius' chest, nuzzling his neck just like a little puppy. "Chocolate" he murmured and Sirius was so confused he could do nothing but nod and stroke the other boys hair.

"Chocolate indeed" he mumbled, and he could feel Remus smiling broadly against his neck.

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Told you it was weird. Tell me what you think? 


End file.
